Now, I will make of you, a truly unique and free being. I will make you overcome all self imposed limits, all social barriers, you will taste the true individual freedom.
I shall carve you to my liking.
I am your artist, and you are my art.
Let me use you as my guinea pig.
I will carve you...
"Once you give up on everything, once you lose everything, only then you will gain absolute freedom.
I exist on the hope to find a beautiful maiden that will slit my throat with a malice and grace that its so inherent of woman.
Now I understand that of course, there's no such thing. And if there's no such thing, I will make it.
Now then, shall we begin to put the seeds of malice into your heart?
So that one day I can harvest the hate outta' you?
Let's start small, here's a blade. Let's paint it red!"
Sunday, 18 May 2008
Sunday, 27 April 2008
His Existance.
I do not exist.
I do not exist on my own,
so even if i didn't wish to exist.
I exist, because others want me to.
Shoot me,
you'll find yourself shooting at thin air,
my physical existance doesn't garantee the existance of a self.
So I exist.
I exist against my will.
therefore, I do not exist.
Existance is futile.
Existance is a spoutering nonsense.
That constantly kicks you in the kidneys.
Why do I exist,
If I do not wish to.
Why do you continue to live on the hope of satisfaction?
Speak to me!
Look at me!
Talk to me!
Desire me!
Scar me!
Feel me!
KILL ME!!!
Because I exist solely on the hope that someone will someday, confirm my existance.
Untill that day, I will resume my un-existance.
I am not.
I am the anti-existance.
"I tried, but no-one would ever look at me."
Why are they so cruel as to refuse my existance.
Why is me, so cruel as to deny my existance?
I do not exist on my own,
so even if i didn't wish to exist.
I exist, because others want me to.
Shoot me,
you'll find yourself shooting at thin air,
my physical existance doesn't garantee the existance of a self.
So I exist.
I exist against my will.
therefore, I do not exist.
Existance is futile.
Existance is a spoutering nonsense.
That constantly kicks you in the kidneys.
Why do I exist,
If I do not wish to.
Why do you continue to live on the hope of satisfaction?
Speak to me!
Look at me!
Talk to me!
Desire me!
Scar me!
Feel me!
KILL ME!!!
Because I exist solely on the hope that someone will someday, confirm my existance.
Untill that day, I will resume my un-existance.
I am not.
I am the anti-existance.
"I tried, but no-one would ever look at me."
Why are they so cruel as to refuse my existance.
Why is me, so cruel as to deny my existance?
Friday, 14 March 2008
Her Shit:6
It was that other him again. His face was now unhuman, just a fixed grin and those evasive eyes.
At this point... at this point I myself doubted him, and even more I doubted myself, what am I? Do I have another face, am I like him?
"The Unconscious handles the true strings,
The Conscious just acts like a blind puppet.
never knowing what are the true reasons."
Am I but some residual self, excreted by some other self more like what I had witnessed in him? AM I SHIT?
Aren't we all in a way, a piece of trash?
A product of the unconscious trash?
UNCONSCIOUS SHIT, THAT'S WHAT I AM.
At this point... at this point I myself doubted him, and even more I doubted myself, what am I? Do I have another face, am I like him?
"The Unconscious handles the true strings,
The Conscious just acts like a blind puppet.
never knowing what are the true reasons."
Am I but some residual self, excreted by some other self more like what I had witnessed in him? AM I SHIT?
Aren't we all in a way, a piece of trash?
A product of the unconscious trash?
UNCONSCIOUS SHIT, THAT'S WHAT I AM.
Friday, 29 February 2008
His Blood:5
"You scatched me. Don't worry it's not as bad as bleeds."
I noticed I was bleeding, but I didn't feel much pain anyway.
Blood is the money of life.
"Blood is the fuel of the moon...
What do you think, very poetic, huh?"
I hugged her tighly and raised her, she leaned on me while the water gently washed away the shit and blood from our bodies.
A piece of the shower remained unwashed.
Stained with our filth.
I streched my hand.
"See this?
This is us.
Humans beings are made of this!"
As I smuttered some of it into my chest to stain it with the last drops of my fresh blood.
"HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOTHING BUT SHIT AND BLOOD.
Everything else is but a deception of senses.
We are but animals that can pose as civilized beings, but in the end we all come down to blood and feces.
Have you gone past the point where these things feel different and repulsive?
Inside of you, lies a pool of feces, fermenting, waiting to be expelled.
And it is thanks to the blood that you are alive.
Don't reject these, they are part of you!
She looked somewhat disgusted, but I could see it, inside her, something was changing, she was trying to overcome that sense of disgust.
"After all you could see it didn't you.
You saw it in my face!"
I noticed I was bleeding, but I didn't feel much pain anyway.
Blood is the money of life.
"Blood is the fuel of the moon...
What do you think, very poetic, huh?"
I hugged her tighly and raised her, she leaned on me while the water gently washed away the shit and blood from our bodies.
A piece of the shower remained unwashed.
Stained with our filth.
I streched my hand.
"See this?
This is us.
Humans beings are made of this!"
As I smuttered some of it into my chest to stain it with the last drops of my fresh blood.
"HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOTHING BUT SHIT AND BLOOD.
Everything else is but a deception of senses.
We are but animals that can pose as civilized beings, but in the end we all come down to blood and feces.
Have you gone past the point where these things feel different and repulsive?
Inside of you, lies a pool of feces, fermenting, waiting to be expelled.
And it is thanks to the blood that you are alive.
Don't reject these, they are part of you!
She looked somewhat disgusted, but I could see it, inside her, something was changing, she was trying to overcome that sense of disgust.
"After all you could see it didn't you.
You saw it in my face!"
Wednesday, 20 February 2008
Her senses:4
I Breathe again. As everything else, it hurts to, but I breath anyway. Pain is not a sign of danger, it's a sign of life.
My consciousness came back slowly,
The first sense to come back was the smell, it was shit. Human feces.
The second sense, feeling. More shit, I was covered waist down in shit.
My ears came third:
"Life's full of shit, now you are partially alive, huh? Alive from the waist down would sound awkard." It was him.
My eyes were fourth, It was him.
Lastly I tasted,
I tasted blood.
"Why are you bleeding?"
My consciousness came back slowly,
The first sense to come back was the smell, it was shit. Human feces.
The second sense, feeling. More shit, I was covered waist down in shit.
My ears came third:
"Life's full of shit, now you are partially alive, huh? Alive from the waist down would sound awkard." It was him.
My eyes were fourth, It was him.
Lastly I tasted,
I tasted blood.
"Why are you bleeding?"
Monday, 18 February 2008
His Hands:3
Now I could feel it, the coldness of her blue skin, it was all over my hands. As if I was holding ice, a beatiful snowflake. A fucking snowflake.
It was all so blurry, as if I was watching it from the outside. But when I really came to my senses, when I felt that coldness, that bitter cold feeling that reminded me of...
She started showing the usual symptoms, her shit covered all the tub, and her body was still spasming. At this point I had to turn on the shower, I carefully stood in the way of the water and her mouth so as to prevent her from swallowing any water. While I stood there, watching her face, I could only stare blindly at it, trying to understand what I had done.
"What you seen was my shadow, that construction of the self that handles all repressed thoughs. All things that are not suppossed to be there, others can't see this, others don't want to see it, because it scares them, because it shows how little they knew about me. It reminds them of that untrespassable gap between me and the others.
Yes, coming closer to each other hurts."
It was all so blurry, as if I was watching it from the outside. But when I really came to my senses, when I felt that coldness, that bitter cold feeling that reminded me of...
She started showing the usual symptoms, her shit covered all the tub, and her body was still spasming. At this point I had to turn on the shower, I carefully stood in the way of the water and her mouth so as to prevent her from swallowing any water. While I stood there, watching her face, I could only stare blindly at it, trying to understand what I had done.
"What you seen was my shadow, that construction of the self that handles all repressed thoughs. All things that are not suppossed to be there, others can't see this, others don't want to see it, because it scares them, because it shows how little they knew about me. It reminds them of that untrespassable gap between me and the others.
Yes, coming closer to each other hurts."
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