Your filth with mine,
isn't that love too?
Friday, 14 March 2008
Her Shit:6
It was that other him again. His face was now unhuman, just a fixed grin and those evasive eyes.
At this point... at this point I myself doubted him, and even more I doubted myself, what am I? Do I have another face, am I like him?
"The Unconscious handles the true strings,
The Conscious just acts like a blind puppet.
never knowing what are the true reasons."
Am I but some residual self, excreted by some other self more like what I had witnessed in him? AM I SHIT?
Aren't we all in a way, a piece of trash?
A product of the unconscious trash?
UNCONSCIOUS SHIT, THAT'S WHAT I AM.
At this point... at this point I myself doubted him, and even more I doubted myself, what am I? Do I have another face, am I like him?
"The Unconscious handles the true strings,
The Conscious just acts like a blind puppet.
never knowing what are the true reasons."
Am I but some residual self, excreted by some other self more like what I had witnessed in him? AM I SHIT?
Aren't we all in a way, a piece of trash?
A product of the unconscious trash?
UNCONSCIOUS SHIT, THAT'S WHAT I AM.
Friday, 29 February 2008
His Blood:5
"You scatched me. Don't worry it's not as bad as bleeds."
I noticed I was bleeding, but I didn't feel much pain anyway.
Blood is the money of life.
"Blood is the fuel of the moon...
What do you think, very poetic, huh?"
I hugged her tighly and raised her, she leaned on me while the water gently washed away the shit and blood from our bodies.
A piece of the shower remained unwashed.
Stained with our filth.
I streched my hand.
"See this?
This is us.
Humans beings are made of this!"
As I smuttered some of it into my chest to stain it with the last drops of my fresh blood.
"HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOTHING BUT SHIT AND BLOOD.
Everything else is but a deception of senses.
We are but animals that can pose as civilized beings, but in the end we all come down to blood and feces.
Have you gone past the point where these things feel different and repulsive?
Inside of you, lies a pool of feces, fermenting, waiting to be expelled.
And it is thanks to the blood that you are alive.
Don't reject these, they are part of you!
She looked somewhat disgusted, but I could see it, inside her, something was changing, she was trying to overcome that sense of disgust.
"After all you could see it didn't you.
You saw it in my face!"
I noticed I was bleeding, but I didn't feel much pain anyway.
Blood is the money of life.
"Blood is the fuel of the moon...
What do you think, very poetic, huh?"
I hugged her tighly and raised her, she leaned on me while the water gently washed away the shit and blood from our bodies.
A piece of the shower remained unwashed.
Stained with our filth.
I streched my hand.
"See this?
This is us.
Humans beings are made of this!"
As I smuttered some of it into my chest to stain it with the last drops of my fresh blood.
"HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOTHING BUT SHIT AND BLOOD.
Everything else is but a deception of senses.
We are but animals that can pose as civilized beings, but in the end we all come down to blood and feces.
Have you gone past the point where these things feel different and repulsive?
Inside of you, lies a pool of feces, fermenting, waiting to be expelled.
And it is thanks to the blood that you are alive.
Don't reject these, they are part of you!
She looked somewhat disgusted, but I could see it, inside her, something was changing, she was trying to overcome that sense of disgust.
"After all you could see it didn't you.
You saw it in my face!"
Wednesday, 20 February 2008
Her senses:4
I Breathe again. As everything else, it hurts to, but I breath anyway. Pain is not a sign of danger, it's a sign of life.
My consciousness came back slowly,
The first sense to come back was the smell, it was shit. Human feces.
The second sense, feeling. More shit, I was covered waist down in shit.
My ears came third:
"Life's full of shit, now you are partially alive, huh? Alive from the waist down would sound awkard." It was him.
My eyes were fourth, It was him.
Lastly I tasted,
I tasted blood.
"Why are you bleeding?"
My consciousness came back slowly,
The first sense to come back was the smell, it was shit. Human feces.
The second sense, feeling. More shit, I was covered waist down in shit.
My ears came third:
"Life's full of shit, now you are partially alive, huh? Alive from the waist down would sound awkard." It was him.
My eyes were fourth, It was him.
Lastly I tasted,
I tasted blood.
"Why are you bleeding?"
Monday, 18 February 2008
His Hands:3
Now I could feel it, the coldness of her blue skin, it was all over my hands. As if I was holding ice, a beatiful snowflake. A fucking snowflake.
It was all so blurry, as if I was watching it from the outside. But when I really came to my senses, when I felt that coldness, that bitter cold feeling that reminded me of...
She started showing the usual symptoms, her shit covered all the tub, and her body was still spasming. At this point I had to turn on the shower, I carefully stood in the way of the water and her mouth so as to prevent her from swallowing any water. While I stood there, watching her face, I could only stare blindly at it, trying to understand what I had done.
"What you seen was my shadow, that construction of the self that handles all repressed thoughs. All things that are not suppossed to be there, others can't see this, others don't want to see it, because it scares them, because it shows how little they knew about me. It reminds them of that untrespassable gap between me and the others.
Yes, coming closer to each other hurts."
It was all so blurry, as if I was watching it from the outside. But when I really came to my senses, when I felt that coldness, that bitter cold feeling that reminded me of...
She started showing the usual symptoms, her shit covered all the tub, and her body was still spasming. At this point I had to turn on the shower, I carefully stood in the way of the water and her mouth so as to prevent her from swallowing any water. While I stood there, watching her face, I could only stare blindly at it, trying to understand what I had done.
"What you seen was my shadow, that construction of the self that handles all repressed thoughs. All things that are not suppossed to be there, others can't see this, others don't want to see it, because it scares them, because it shows how little they knew about me. It reminds them of that untrespassable gap between me and the others.
Yes, coming closer to each other hurts."
Saturday, 16 February 2008
Interlude:A
I am but a piece of dirt, that has taken human shape.
I can only aspire to so little:
To die painlessly,
To die young and to leave a beatiful corpse,
so a fucked up mortician can enjoy my former body.
I can only aspire to so little:
To die painlessly,
To die young and to leave a beatiful corpse,
so a fucked up mortician can enjoy my former body.
Thursday, 14 February 2008
Her death:2
After a few seconds of silence, he stopped staring at me, he grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me.
While being dragged I couldn't think of anything. We arrived the bathroom, and he commanded me to strip, again I couln't cleary decypher his intentions, I knew this wasn't sexual or anything, the enviroment was anything but erotic.
We were both naked and he told me to lay in the bath tub, he is now naked standing in front of me.
"Now, you will see it."
And he slowly descended upon me, his arms streched, he held my face and caressed me a little.
"I'm sorry, but you will understand me after this."
I was now anxious, anxious to understand him, and that need overcame my fear.
Close your eyes please.
I did as requested, before I would regret it.
Suddenly. His hands were around my neck, and they became tight, very tight.
"agh, ah, ah---" I could only mumble those vocals.
When I opened my eyes I fund myself engulfed by terror.
What I saw was not the one man I loved, but someone else, wearing a bizarre mask of him. A moment ago it was him, but now his expression had changed. His faced was distorted in a fixed frightening grin, and his eyes were piercing right trough me, as if unveiling an unknown deepness.
While being dragged I couldn't think of anything. We arrived the bathroom, and he commanded me to strip, again I couln't cleary decypher his intentions, I knew this wasn't sexual or anything, the enviroment was anything but erotic.
We were both naked and he told me to lay in the bath tub, he is now naked standing in front of me.
"Now, you will see it."
And he slowly descended upon me, his arms streched, he held my face and caressed me a little.
"I'm sorry, but you will understand me after this."
I was now anxious, anxious to understand him, and that need overcame my fear.
Close your eyes please.
I did as requested, before I would regret it.
Suddenly. His hands were around my neck, and they became tight, very tight.
"agh, ah, ah---" I could only mumble those vocals.
When I opened my eyes I fund myself engulfed by terror.
What I saw was not the one man I loved, but someone else, wearing a bizarre mask of him. A moment ago it was him, but now his expression had changed. His faced was distorted in a fixed frightening grin, and his eyes were piercing right trough me, as if unveiling an unknown deepness.
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